Heads Up for the Bouquet and Garter

Believed to have their roots in 14th-century Europe when guests literally chased the newlyweds to their bridal chamber, the garter toss and the bouquet toss are two of the most recognizable reception traditions. Nowadays, custom dictates that the man who nabs the garter and the woman who catches the bouquet are next in line for the altar.

Contemporary couples often forego these traditions for a variety of reasons (and with perfect impunity from the etiquette police). If you plan to make like ancestral Europeans, however, here are a few tips on getting the toss right.

• Throw a specially made bouquet. Even if you don’t plan to preserve the original, a separate throw bouquet can be more wieldy and less difficult to part with. Florists often roll this extra into a flower package gratis if you ask.
• Stand as you please. While many brides and grooms toss the bouquet or garter backward over the shoulder, it’s not required. Face the crowd if you like or toss from a balcony or the seat of a horse-drawn carriage as you’re whisked away from the reception.
• Take aim. If you like the tossing tradition but really want the bouquet (or garter) to go to a special someone, it’s your prerogative to aim for your target. No one will begrudge your showing extra affection to your friend or first cousin this way.
• Use discretion. Some singles are reluctant to participate in the traditional grabfest. Don’t force them to join in or draw attention to their bowing out. Likewise, grooms, don’t embarrass your new bride by hitching up her dress too high or removing the garter with your teeth–unless she’s game, of course.

Looking for alternatives to the traditional approach? Include all singles, both men and women, in the bouquet toss. Or make a presentation of the piece to a special recipient–a dear friend, an especially devoted wedding helper, or an older role model–instead of tossing it. The bouquet and garter can also go as a package to a couple that inspire the two of you as newlyweds.

– Emily Bedard, Amazon.com Wedding Expert

Tags: Brides, Dresses, Europe, Florist, Wedding